The Year that Came from the Darkest Pits of Hell
I usually write from an emotional overflow. But, sometimes pain wants to be heard, even if its incoherent.
2019 started with waves of hopeful promises, a new outlook, and somehow a clear view on where I was sailing off to.
You know, it was like the glorified masterpiece of the Titanic. The ship that would never sink. We all know what happened to the Titanic. And as for me, I didn’t see my iceberg. I was fully equipped, aware, on my toes, had every precaution in mind, and yet I crashed into it. Actually, it crashed into every fibre of my being and left me numb. Alone, collecting what I can salvage of my lifeless self.
Sitting in disbelief, trying to pep-talk myself that I’m a fighter, a shit-fighter as my best bud puts it. I’m a resilient bad-ass, who comes from a long line of sea Captains, damn it! But, not this time.
Life had the upper hand in this fight. Heck! I wasn’t even in the same weight class with it! It sucker-punched me into spirals, leaving me shadow-boxing unfamiliar demons! How rude?!! (In Stephanie Tanner’s voice)
In moments like these, that feels like a life time of falling, and waiting to hear that thud, so you can tell yourself: “Well, there is only going up from here” False, cause in some cases rock-bottom has a basement. One that can be dark with no source of entertainment, and very, very weak reception. And that is just the reality of things.
You know, P!nk was right when she said: “God, it hurts to be human” It really does hurt in this lifetime to be human. This adulting with a live conscience can be a curse.
2019 was absolutely brutal (In Tommy Heinsohn’s voice) I mean, even The Queen of England had a tough year:
That being said, I’m facing the music, as I mourn a lost soul. Which is a terrible feeling when you want to just get along with life, and make the best out of it.
Damn man, who knew you could mourn the living?